Octopus! It’s What’s For Dinner….wait…what?

I saw one of these color shifting cephalopods at the local wharf & I had to try my hand a cooking this tasty creature.

I consulted with a well-spoken Fijian woman at the Lautoka market & she gave me detailed instructions on how to prepare said Fijian delicacy. Myself & fellow volunteers Alicia & Megan made our way to the wharf & haggled for a 8+ lb. prize-winning $12 octopus, which we named Paco…..later we affectionately referred to him as Pactopus. Thankfully the dirtiest work is done for us ahead of time, namely removing the eyes, brain, ink sac & 3 hearts…eeewww…this is done by well….are you sure you want to know? Turning the thing inside out and ripping it all off.

Our friend Paco had obviously run with a rough crowd because he was only rocking 6 of his 8 tentacles, which are very tough & need to be tenderized. So the first thing we have to do is & I quote “beat the thing nicely.” But before that, we all partake in a pre-bludgeoning photo shoot while we squirm & squeal & seriously question whether this was a good idea.

All of three of us hold a rolling pin in hand & start beating away while sea water is flying at our faces and we feel an odd mix of determination & remorse.
Once thoroughly tenderized Alicia has a stroke of octo-genius & she brings out scissors to cut off his suckers. A far better idea than slicing them off with a knife & potential my own appendage.

The next step is to get a large pot smoking hot then throw him in, put a lid on it & let the natural sea water come out so he boils in his own Paco au jus. Once all of the water boils away we added homemade coconut milk, onions, chilies and a squeeze of lemon juice.

It was a screaming success, albeit totally disgusting! This was made 100% true to the traditional Fijian method of preparation and was delicious. It was tender and tasted mild like the smell of fresh ocean air. A highly nutritious animal, filled with lean protein, iron, selenium and omega-3’s, it’s dressed perfectly with the rich coconut milk and tang of lemon. It will definitely be making it to my table again. I need to get it while I can…I wonder if I can get whole octopuses in Cleveland?

Recipe

Sulua Vaka Lolo-Octopus in Coconut Milk

1 whole fresh octopus (brains, ink sac etc. removed)
Salt and baking soda
1 coconut or 1 can of coconut milk
1 small onion, diced
1 chili pepper, diced
1 lemon cut into wedges
Rolling pin or meat tenderizer
Newspaper

Take octopus outside to tenderize, this is a messy job.
Put salt & a bit of baking soda on all sides, place on newspaper & “beat it nicely” using a rolling pin or meat tenderizer. Then rinse it off with water thoroughly. Do not cut it up, leave it whole, however we removed the head & just cooked the tentacles.

Cut off the suckers using scissors and discard. If the beak has not been removed, do so. It is in the center and is a hard black mass that can be cut out….it sounds disgusting, but at this point you are pretty much committed so deal with it.
Heat up a large stock pot until very hot with no water in it. Then add the octopus to the hot pan and cover. Water will naturally come out of it & it will boil in its own liquid. Simmer covered for about 30 minutes, until its own water is gone, turning once about every 10 minutes. The tentacles will curl up & the entire octopus will turn an inky purple hue. Turn off the heat and add fresh (or if you must canned) coconut milk, onion and chilies to the pot. Squeeze with lemon before serving. Serve with boiled cassava.