I expected to feel emotional about leaving all I love & cherish behind, but it has proven to be even more stormy than I expected. In thinking about what the prospects hold in Fiji & what foreign experiences I will be enduring, I become excited at the "Indiana Jones" like adventure. Then I begin to experience a moment like the one I had today when I looked at my beautiful yoga class & felt so loved, at home and proud. As I was driving home from the class, I felt like I was seeing the trees around me bud for the first time, even though I have lived on that street nearly my entire life.
I've had the sensation that I only have "X" amount of days to live since I accepted the Peace Corps invitation. It has been quite liberating actually. Living through the perspective that my life with never be the same again after my return & that I will no longer relate to all that I do now in the exact same way, has made me feel this acute sense of awareness to how I feel & perceive things RIGHT now.
It has created the perfect prescription for presence.
I can take in the energy of laughing with my little sister much more fully. I can love more deeply when I see all of my student's smiles. And I can appreciate all of the details of a regular day with so much more gratitude, when they would've normally been multi-tasked through. I feel like living from the understanding that life as we know it will NOT last forever gives me the freedom to tell people exactly how much I care about them, even if it makes them uncomfortable.
I have so much busy-ness happening in the next 3 weeks. I am headed to E. Rutherford, NJ this weekend because I won a full pass to the NJ Salsa Congress and will be headed into NYC and going to the Jivamukti Yoga School. I have never taken a Jivamukti class in NY & I am so psyched! I am using this trip as a last yoga, salsa and food huraahh!
More friends to dine with, parties to attend and essentials to buy. More emotions to encounter.
xoxox
Sara
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